Life borders on the applied chaos theory when a mom and both her children have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD). As a parent of a high-energy child with ADHD, you are constantly on alert as to when to ask him to tone it down a notch. Before you realize what is happening you turn apologizing into an art form. I was doing my children a great disservice, and although it has taken me awhile, I have learned not to apologize for what is appropriate age and situational behavior.
My children love the water, and what better way to get energy out on a scorching summer afternoon than to visit the local outdoor swimming pool. My son was 5 years old the summer he taught his mom a major life lesson. On this particular day, he was hopping through the shallow pool water imitating a frog. I could hear him yelling at me, “mom look!” which was followed by several loud frog sounds or ribits as my son proceeded to hop toward the entrance of the swimming pool. I could tell he was ready to explore one of the other three pools in the complex as I followed behind him.
As he hopped out of the pool, he inadvertently splashed a woman who was sitting on the edge of the pool soaking her feet in the water and reading a book. The woman quickly stood up acting very dismayed, waving her arms and hands around dramatically to show her discontentment at getting wet. I quickly apologized multiple times to the woman saying, “I am so sorry! He is ADHD and has so much energy!” as I followed my son to the next pool. I immediately began chiding myself for apologizing for what is essentially acceptable and anticipated behavior for his age and the situation.
Good grief my five-year-old son had been imitating a frog in a public pool! Why in the world had I apologized for him accidentally splashing a woman sitting on the edge of that same public pool? My son had not taken a bucket of water and rudely dumped it over her while she sat 20 feet away from the pool. If the woman did not wish to get wet, why was she sitting on the edge of a packed swimming pool on a hot summer afternoon?
That was a significant light bulb moment for this ADD Mom, as I realized that I had become accustomed to apologizing for my son’s high-energy behavior because it makes people uncomfortable. My child has a continuous hunger to know how the world around him works, which leads my highly intelligent son to ask frequent questions usually in a rapid-fire succession. My incredible son happens to see the world in a way very few people ever will. To him each day is a giant opportunity to explore, discover and conquer new things.
My son has no fear. He is extremely inquisitive. Always seeking answers to that which he does not know. The world intrigues and fascinates him. Yet, there is very little patience for the mundane daily tasks required of home and school. My incredible son will spend hours in the back yard with a dustpan and whisk-broom “cleaning my dirt” as he sweeps it up and puts it into his bright red wagon. Later he adds water. Two days later the mud has baked solid in the hot summer sun, and my son claims he made “concrete.”
That sizzling summer day at the local pool, this mom made a personal vow she would never again apologize for her son’s appropriate age activities. There is never a reason to justify a child’s quest to play and explore his environment when done appropriately for the situation. This is only one of many great insights I have gained through the eyes of my high-energy child. I have so much still to learn. What has your ADD child taught you as a parent? Please feel free to share your thoughts on ADD or parenting an ADD child in our free ADD forum.
Mi vida loca or welcome to my crazy life!
Erika Lyn Smith
ADD Mom with(2)AD/HD Children
Applied Chaos
- Erika Lyn Smith
- Midwestern USA
- Applied Chaos is how life feels living with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder or ADHD. This theory is definately put to the test when three AD/HD people live under the same roof. I am an AD/HD mom raising two AD/HD children and being mom is the most extraordinary experience of my lifetime. My husband WES, is NOT AD/HD and most days the three of us make his head spin. YET he is sooooo amazingly patient, despite the unannounced and sudden mood shifts that can occur when something that should be simple is not. That is the hardest part of living with AD/HD. When things that should be simple are not. I have little tolerance for my downfalls. Sheer frustration can lead to angry outbursts when I have once again misplaced my cell phone, the house phone, any number of bills, the car keys, the dog, or my portable brain (calendar)!
